Monday, April 6, 2015

Don't Be An A-Hole



 


Are assholes born or made? Are people born with a predisposition to assholeness?

I believe that assholes are made but I do think some people are more prone than others to become dickheads. We are all products of our environment. We all grow up believing whatever our parents led us to believe about ourselves. We all carry childhood wounds.  But all of us also possess free-will. Our wounds are not excuses to become assholes as adults. It’s up to us to decide how to live life and how to treat others.

I’ve known a lot of assholes in my life. In my older, wiser years I try to have compassion for them. I try to imagine them as children. We were all innocent, little kids at one time. We were all born with the need to be loved and nurtured. Some of us were fortunate enough to have our emotional needs met but some of us were not. So, I do try to keep that in mind when I’m dealing with an asshole. I question what made them that way? What did their childhood look like? 

Some of us were unfortunately dealt really shitty cards as kids with trauma, abuse, neglect, abandonment, loss, etc. I’ve known people from all walks of life with all sorts of childhood stories. Yet, no two are the same as adults. 

I’ve met the ones who took their adversities and turned them into blessings and became better people because of their pasts. I’ve met the ones who have remained stuck in the misery of their past and remain victims in their adult lives, expecting life to always be shitty; believing they don’t deserve any better. And I’ve met the ones who became assholes.

Whatever your past holds, leave it there. You have a choice. You really do. Choose to see the lessons. Learn from your mistakes. Atone. Show gratitude. Give love unconditionally. But more than anything, don’t be an asshole. 


8 comments:

  1. The problem with assholes is that they don't know that they are assholes or worse yet they don't care that they are.

    Unfortunately I have a couple in my family and have to deal with them on occasion. I try to avoid them at all costs but it isn't always possible.

    There are different types of assholes. The "know it all asshole" in my family is the most aggravating. Has all the answers to everything and is always right and if you don't agree they call you an asshole for having a different opinion and not agreeing with them.
    No one says a word to them about their behavior . Are we enabling them in their quest to be the best asshole they can be? Does that make us assholes too?

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    1. HA! You made me laugh. Good questions to ponder. ;) When I was searching for a meme to post, there was one that said almost exactly what you said - something along the lines that if you tell a good person they are an asshole, they will apologize, but if you tell an asshole they are one, they will argue that you're the asshole. Thanks for commenting!

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  2. Loved your post! I think we all have the potential to be an asshole. I think that is what bothers me most about assholes. When dealing with them, most of us are thinking, "what an asshole!" Usually it's the way we say it. Not just an observation, but in a judgemental way, surfacing the asshole in us. It's like yawning. It becomes contagious.

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    1. Thanks! And OMG - yes! So true! We get "assholitis" from other assholes. HA!

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  3. Oh were it so simple to *not* be an asshole!

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  4. This is pretty funny! I have to agree wholeheartedly, some people just can't let go of their past, and it will ruin them. Something I just heard the other day, that we've probably all heard, but it bears repeating, is that happiness is a choice, not a "place we're working toward". A**holes just decide not to make that choice. The hard part is that we have to live with them, we can't avoid all of the a**holes all the time.

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    1. Exactly! We just have to learn to radiate compassion and love to the a-holes and hope for it to someday stick. Oh, and I happen to have a wooden wall plaque hanging in my family room that says "Happiness Is A Choice." It's a good daily reminder for the four of us :) Thanks for coming over and reading!

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