Are assholes born or made? Are people born with a predisposition to assholeness?
I believe that assholes are made but I do think some people are more prone than others to become dickheads. We are all products of our environment. We all grow up believing whatever our parents led us to believe about ourselves. We all carry childhood wounds. But all of us also possess free-will. Our wounds are not excuses to become assholes as adults. It’s up to us to decide how to live life and how to treat others.
I’ve known a lot of assholes in my life. In my older, wiser years I try to have compassion for them. I try to imagine them as children. We were all innocent, little kids at one time. We were all born with the need to be loved and nurtured. Some of us were fortunate enough to have our emotional needs met but some of us were not. So, I do try to keep that in mind when I’m dealing with an asshole. I question what made them that way? What did their childhood look like?
Some of us were unfortunately dealt really shitty cards as kids with trauma, abuse, neglect, abandonment, loss, etc. I’ve known people from all walks of life with all sorts of childhood stories. Yet, no two are the same as adults.
I’ve met the ones who took their adversities and turned them into blessings and became better people because of their pasts. I’ve met the ones who have remained stuck in the misery of their past and remain victims in their adult lives, expecting life to always be shitty; believing they don’t deserve any better. And I’ve met the ones who became assholes.
Whatever your past holds, leave it there. You have a choice. You really do. Choose to see the lessons. Learn from your mistakes. Atone. Show gratitude. Give love unconditionally. But more than anything, don’t be an asshole.